Advice on Having Successful Long Distance Dating Relationships, Part 3

Photo: Lauren Jones Photography

Advice on Having Successful Long Distance Dating Relationships, Part 3

Last Wednesday I gave you three pieces of advice on how to have a successful long distance dating relationship, through my experience of dating long distance.

Last Tuesday we heard from a guest writer, Heather who shared her story of long distance dating, engagement and separation as a married women because her husband is a Navy Pilot.

Today we conclude our series, with 3 more thoughts about finding success in long distance relationships.

4.     Get some face time together!  I felt more connected to Rene when we were able to talk on skype at least a few days a week.  Seeing him made me feel like he was closer and also helped us grow in understanding eachother’s non – verbal communication.

5.       Create a shared experience:  We read through the books, For Women Only and For Men Only, by Shaunti and Jeff Feldham.   We each read the books for our own gender (i.e. I first read For Women Only)  and highlighted the parts that were applicable to us.  Then we switched books so the other person could see which points of the book were most important to the other person.  This gave us a non – threatening way to improve our communication skills and understanding of eachother.

6.       Reflect on the positives:  Its so easy in a long distance relationship to get hung up on the negatives, wishing that the other person lived near you, the annoyance and expense of travel, the pain of being separated, and the weddings and special events you still attend “dateless” because your date is far away.

 I can see how God used the season of long distance dating to prepare us for a healthy marriage:

–           It improved our communication, and when we got married we weren’t surprised by the amount of in depth communication you need on a daily basis.

–          It solidified for me, that this was a person I did not want to live without.

–          When we saw eachother on  weekends it was a very special time.  We made an intentional effort to explore together, try new things, do activities together… we were trying to squeeze a week of dating into a weekend.  We have so many sweet and fun memories of our time dating, from pumpkin patch visits, to painting projects, travelling together, and playing bocce ball.  The intentionality we put into planning our weekends, helped solidify our resolve to still “date” even after getting married.  Now we have a date night every week.   It is something I look forward to every week, and it continues to refresh us and knit our hearts together.

–          The resources, (emotional and financial) we put into travelling and communicating made me realize that together we could conquer anything!  We both sacrificed a lot during this period of time so that we could develop our relationship, but I would do it again with no hesitation. To flourish in a long distance relationships you each have to be 100% committed to make it work.  Seeing his commitment to our relationship thriving regardless of circumstances helped confirm to me that he was the man I wanted to marry.

What about you?  What are some things you have learned about thriving in a relationship, whether long distance or close -by?