Mother’s Day is this weekend and I if you’re like me it may bring up a myriad of emotions. There is always joy and thankfulness for my 3 sweet boys, but also sorrow for the 2 babies I won’t kiss until we meet in heaven. I can’t come to this day and forget, forget that there are so many waiting on this day. You may be waiting for your children, your healing, your adult children to return to Jesus. You may be living the Mama of littles life and waiting for sleep, for a breakthrough in your children’s behavior or in potty training (uuummmm me…) You may, like I experienced (for 10 years!) be in the midst of waiting for your husband and the fulfillment of promises from God for your marriage and family. You may be waiting and believing for salvation, revival and reconciliation in your family.
Regardless of where you are at in your journey as we approach Mother’s Day weekend…I want to share something kind of vulnerable, that I have never published online. Its a poemish…I say “ish” because I really don’t know much about poetry so if you are a poetry master ninja person…that’s awesome and please be gentle.
This is For the Waiting Ones
To the Mama, whose a Mama, but she never showed.
Because her babies in heaven with Jesus she knows.
To the Mama whose exhaustion is getting stronger
Because of a baby who won’t sleep a little longer
She’s yearning to sit in silence for 1 hour.
Or even for an un-interuppted Shower.
To the Mama whose waiting for children to return
to a Savior whose love your heart deeply burns
To the ones who are waiting for your broken heart mended
And the ones who ensure everyone elses’ needs are tended.
Single ladies waiting for a certain Prince Charming
They’ve all told you your standards are harming
Harming your chances of ever finding love
Having those kids and life you dreamed of
Oh sweet one… this is for the waiting….
I’ve never liked waiting it’s boring and long
be honest there’s not a lot going on.
Except lonely with thoughts…
Thoughts I’d rather not have,
that I’m forgotten, rejected, unlovable & sad
I start to feel restless, ideas start to flow
how can I fix this or change this
or make something go.
Can I numb the longing?
I don’t know but I’ll try
I’d rather not feel this desire inside.
There I lay in a heap, just a lump on the floor
full of questions, confusion, pain and wanting more.
More than this life has thrown my cruel way
More than these questions I wish wouldn’t stay.
Do you hear me sweet Jesus… you must oh you must
I thought you would fix this, I thought I could trust
But where are you now as my womb is cold?
I thought it would be different by the time I was old.
And that’s when I see Him, He’s not way over there.
I’m not forgotten or distant or alone on this chair.
I feel Him, He’s with me, His arms all around
They’re holding my pain, they’re freeing what’s bound.
I give Him my pain, the hurt and the sad.
I surrender every question my heart ever had.
I turn my affection from me straight to Him
offer what I may never be able to give Him again.
I offer a song, yes simple it is
but if you saw my heart you’d see complex it ‘tis.
It’s praising while I’m waiting
It’s an offering stained with tears
There’s nothing pretty about it
But it’s real and He hears
I sing Him my song, the one only my heart knows
Melody is waiting
Harmony is pain
Rhythm is gain.
Lyrics: surrender and trust.
I can rest in Him, oh I must, yes I must.
See you can yell, you can fight Him, you can say He’s not there
You can declare Him irrelevant or cold without care.
To the waiting ones, you must know today.
There’s intimacy and grace if you’ll just stay.
This Mother’s Day… beloved waiting Ones
Start singing your song composed by tears, sweet one.
And you will find perfect Love, Oh, He will come.
Let Him hold you
Let Him heal you
Then His Glory
Will be revealed to you.
And His Glory, it will be enough, for the waiting ones.
As always, I am praying for you, especially for those of you who are finding this Mother’s Day weekend to be painful and sad or a myriad of emotions.