Alrighty….39 weeks and counting…hopefully by the time you read this I will be snuggled into my hospital gown, serenely laying on my hospital bed screaming “I WANT AN EPIDURAL!!!”….
Anywho…onto much more wonderful mental images….like Zeke’s cute nursery that we just finished this past weekend. I always love looking at pictures of nurseries…because they’re just sweet. However, this isn’t just your typical look at my cute nursery post so you can pin it on pinterest….
Nope…sigh…this is a post of remorse and confession…and perhaps my confession will in some way encourage you to not do what I did – or if you’ve been there with me, to acknowledge it and move on to a better way of thinking!
Shortly after I found out I was pregnant, a celebrity couple also announced they were expecting – Chip and Joanna Gaines of HGTV’s Fixer Upper, that kind of famous couple who have basically turned a ho hum city only a local could love (I can say this because I lived there for 2 years PG – that’s Pre-Gaines) into an iconic mecca for the design lovers. I mean people plan vacations and their honeymoons around going to Waco now…I still can’t quite believe this…because basically the first 6 months I lived there I begged God almost everyday to move me somewhere else…it was hot, it was flat, it was boring…but I really grew to love it. Like you can if you look hard enough anywhere, I found some incredible treasures in that city, mostly in the relationships with people I developed….some of those people becoming some of my best friends!
I have always loved Fixer Upper and the Gaines’ , think the Silos are so fun and I have really enjoyed seeing the diamond in the rough of Waco, TX emerge. I just think that’s cool…and how so often God works. So when I found out that Chip and Jo Jo were expecting I felt this sort of strange bond between us grow even stronger… we’ve lived in the same place, loved Waco before it became a hip vacation destination, I even attended the same church they attend. Most recently I had a dream where Joanna’s daughter pointed me out and said “look mama it’s the lady that always carries crayons in her back pack” – What can I say??? some people are noticed for their innovative revolution of the entire home décor industry and some are known for how many items they carry with them at all times to hopefully entertain their wild toddlers in any sort of situation they may encounter….we all have our callings….its clear Jo-Jo and I have both found ours….
So when I began to think about Zeke’s nursery….of course my mind instantly flashed the question – How would Jo- Jo design this space? And then that led me down this mental trail…..
- I bet Joanna Gaines is designing her nursery right now…
- I bet she has thought of the most epic nursery idea that will surely go viral on pinterest and revolutionize how we forever decorate babies’ nurseries.
- If only I could see a glimpse of her design plans, than maybe my nursery could ya know win the silver medal of nursery designs.
- Hers is going to be so much better than mine!
- Maybe if I google farmhouse nursery style and exactly copy that style, I will come close.
Insert labored breathing, rapid heart beat…anxiety….
Yes, as embarrassing as it is to admit…My body actually started showing signs of the beginning of an anxiety attack, because I wanted to know what Joanna Gaines’ nursery plans were so I could somehow copy them and have an epicly cool nursery… I hope Jo – Jo never reads this…because she’s going to tell her daughter to stay away from the “crazy crayon lady”
So there you have it…I compared myself, my skills, my talents, my resources with someone else (in this case Joanna Gaines) and this comparison actually caused me to have anxiety. Not just emotional anxiety, but a physical response in my body.
I literally had to stop myself and have this reality check: I am not Joanna Gaines, I am not leading the forefront of trend setting in the design world and that is good, not just good but it is OK! I am so thankful for Joanna Gaines and every gift and talent God has given her. I am encouraged and inspired by her life to work hard and use the gifts God has given me to glorify Him, and to love my husband and kids and community well. I see her doing that well, and I am so thankful she is. I am also thankful that I am Charity Rios, that God has specifically made me the way He made me…crazy crayon lady I may be…but He loves every way He has made me. I don’t have to be Joanna Gaines or think like her to be happy. Actually it would lame if I was like her…(no offense Jo – Jo) because then the world would be missing what I have been created to bring to the world. My nursery is not going to look like Joanna Gaines…its going to look like the baby aisle of Hobby Lobby….and that’s ok…that is about where my skill set and time and resources put me right now…and that is more than ok.
What does comparision do: It freezes us. We become unable to walk into the fullness of our destinies.
Whether its comparing ourselves to another mom, classmate, friend, or family member. It can happen so easily and quickly and if aren’t vigilant to stop ourselves it can destroy relationships – creating distance between us and other people. It also prevents us from walking into the fullness of who God has created us to be because when we are focused on comparing ourselves with other people it actually blocks us from receiving from God. It stops us from spending the time and energy we have been given to seek God and obey Him, and to develop the talents and skills He has given us.
So what can we do when we find ourselves comparing ourselves to others:
- Acknowledge what we are doing is wrong. Repent to God. Repent to a trusted friend. Receive God’s forgiveness.
- Ask God what you should do when you feel tempted to compare yourself to others.
- Get off social media! Step away for a season, or give yourself strict boundaries (and tell someone!). I also encourage everyone to take 1 day a week and completely stay off social media. It’s a good check for your heart to see how much comparison social media is breeding within you.
- Ask God these 2 questions everyday for a month and write down the answers: God who are you? God who do you say I am?
- Stop and pray for the person you are comparing yourself to. Thank God for the amazing way He has created them. Ask Him to bless them abundantly that day.
That’s it for today! Just for fun, let me know your guess for my delivery date and time in the comments below! My due date is Tomorrow, Friday, June 15th!