This summer one of my primary forms of exercise has been water aerobics. Most Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings you can find me and a pool of senior ladies sweating it out in the water.
Y’all these ladies are hilarious and adorable. My first day of class when one member found out I was pregnant, she was so giddy about my upcoming birth she made a special class announcement. This announcement was followed by 20 grandma shrieks and one woman volunteering the nursing skills of the 5 retired nurses in the class, if I went into labor and needed to deliver in the pool.
I had visions of the world’s easiest and shortest labor which progressed during water aerobics and climaxed with 20 grandmas and 5 retired nurses assisting in the delivery at my athletic club’s pool…I wondered if delivering there could earn us a free lifetime membership?
I can’t leave water aerobics grumpy for a few reasons:
– at least 3 participants tell me the same joke every time: “Oh, you’re starting your babies’ swim lessons early.”
– in spite of facing the end of their life and failing bodies and minds, there isn’t one grumpy person in the pool…I have concluded by the time you are older…you have realized grumpiness is a waste of time. Its really refreshing…especially when I walk in internally grumbling about my pregnancy aches and pains.
Every morning this week I have waddled into class with the grace of a city girl who rode a horse for 8 hours.
However, when I get in the pool – I experience one hour of sheer bliss: weightlessness!
60 minutes pass where I posses the grace of a ballerina instead of the toddle of a hippo. My fluid strokes stirring daydreams that I am once again able to buckle my shoe, paint my toes and reach my calves while shaving.
I told Rene the other night that every penny of our gym membership is worth it to suspend the environmental and physical factors that make weightlessness impossible and experience the lightness and freedom of the water.
Finding peace in adversity and trial feels a lot like achieving weightlessness in your third trimester: improbable.
Yet what is improbable in any other environment suddenly becomes reality every time I step in the pool.
My environment changes my reality. The actual circumstances may not change but my abilities and perceptions of reality change.
Recently a friend was praying for me because I was feeling anxious and stressed. As she prayed she said, “when you partner with anxiety, your authority and power in prayer are diminished.”
I thought about her statement the rest of the day. I was praying for a circumstance to change but I did so in the midst of panic, fear and wanting to control the situation through my own striving.
I couldn’t hear what God was saying or experience peace…because all I could hear was my own mind telling me “THIS IS A GOOD TIME TO PANIC!,”
I believed the enemy’s whispers, “anxiety will help you get through this.”
I may have been praying continually but I was also incessantly panicking.
I needed an environment change to be able to partner with Him in prayer to see miracles happen.
I wanted to pray “please help” and believe that He actually could and would.
I told the Lord I wanted to partner only with Him…His peace, His rest, His ways, His power, and His Bigness.
When I am in an environment with Jesus, where He is the King, and I am glorifying Him even above what I see or understand…my perspective changes…along with what I see, believe or understand about the situation.
A prayer I have been praying frequently is, “Thy will be done, Thy Kingdom Come, On earth as it is in heaven” (Matthew 6:10)
if I pray this yet carry anxiety and panic, I am working directly against what I am desperately crying out to see.
If I believe that purity, peace, rest, and redemption are available in heaven and believe that Jesus did not instruct us to pray, “on earth as it is in heaven” as a false tease…then I have to believe that it is possible to experience the perfection, justice, hope, and joy that is in heaven…here in earth…here in my circumstances.
When I trust in nothing…but the blood of Jesus…I will see it.
I will experience the buoyant glory of peace in the midst of my waiting. And my spirit can feel as weightless as a 30 week preggo Momma in a Texas summer floating in cool waters.
Any other past or current preggo ladies who can relate to the sheer bliss of floating in the pool during pregnancy? Anyone else struggle to believe that we can experience what is in heaven, even while still living here on earth? What is our role in experiencing peace in the midst of trial?