The last 3 weeks, we have looked at the concept of Sabbath, Biblically, and then practically how to implement it into our lives. If you missed the first two posts here they are: Part 1, and Part 2, 
Last week we talked about the importance of NOT being SUPERWOMAN (or Superman for our awesome guy readers out there). Read more to find out if you have a “Superwoman Complex.”
Today I am going to share a few insights about how I got over my Superwoman complex. I would also LOVE to hear any thoughts and ideas you have about how to move past this.
1. Acknowledge you have a problem. “Hi I’m Charity and I have a superwoman complex….” You many never be sent to a therapy group for your superwomen complex, but maybe you should! Its important to talk with a trusted Christian friend about your struggle. Take your cape off, and let a friend know that the cares of other people are weighing you down and you need their help. A friend can be a sounding board for situations and also an encouragement. Ask them to tell you this simple phrase “Charity, its going to be ok, you are not responsible for the choices and actions of others.”
2. Read! The best book I have read about maintaining emotionally and physically healthy boundaries is called Boundaries, written by two Christian Psychologists, Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.
It absolutely revolutionized my world, and I consider it a must read for anyone with a gift of mercy or anyone involved in ministry or a helping profession. Do you have any good book recommendations on this subject? Please share with us!
3. Understanding God’s heart for us! I have spent a lot of time meditating on this verse, it is a powerful scripture (especially for those of us who have a hard time taking our capes off) and I encourage you to do the same!
Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
What does this scripture speak to your heart?
4. Lay it down at the cross. Take a moment to think about the cross. I mean to really consider what happened at the cross. It was even more than Jesus dying and taking every sin upon Himself so that when we believe in Him and accept Him as Lord of our lives we get to spend eternity with Him in heaven.
John 11:25 “Jesus said to her, ‘I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die.”
YES! This is a REALLY BIG part of the work of the cross and an extremely important part because without it Satan would have every legal right to demand our lives as payment for our sin. The cross and the empty tomb are the ABSOLUTE FINISHING WORK AND VICTORY over EVERY sin, fear, sickness, disease, tragedy and death.
1 Corinthians 1: 18, 30 “For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. “
This means that when Jesus said “IT IS FINISHED!” that wasn’t just a dramatic climatic phrase. He literally meant it is done and completed! Wow! That is so freeing! It means that I know the ONE who can save anyone from anything. It means that the same God who triumphed over every evil scheme of the enemy that was and will come lives inside me!
So after reflecting upon what the cross and empty grave mean I imagine every person and situation sitting at the foot of the cross. And then I ask myself…”Charity, is the cross and empty grave enough for this situation?” and I also ask, “Jesus are you enough for this situation?” The answer is YES, of course, EVERYTIME! But there is a difference between knowing that the right answer is Yes, and sitting with Jesus and taking the time to hear from Him what His truth is over the situation.
5. Obedience. A verse I love is:
Psalm 16:6 “the boundry lines have fallen for me in pleasant places, surely I have a delightful inheritance.”
If we don’t know what those boundary lines are it is hard to resonate with this verse. That is why I cannot emphasize enough the importance of talking to God about what your boundary lines should be, for the day, week, month, or season of life. It is as simple as asking, “Lord, I have been asked to serve in ABC ministry do you want me to?” or “Lord, my friend is really struggling right now and I know they have great need, how do you want me to love them?” Then wait for His answer. Ask other trusted believers to also pray with you. I have found such confidence comes from taking time and humbling my heart to ask the Lord how to spend my resources of time, energy and money. When I am confident that I am in His boundary lines it is also a lot easier for me to lay my cape aside and not feel like I have to solve every problem that I see.
As we conclude the series on Sabbath I would love to hear your thoughts! Has this series inspired you to make a change in any way?
Good word, Charity. 🙂
Thanks Sarah
I couldn’t agree more, with all of it. I love the book Boundaries, too. It really changed my life when I first read it. And I think your advice about asking God what your boundaries should be for the day, week, season, is really solid advice.
Thanks Steph! That book should be a mandatory read before anyone enters a student life job, don’t you think =)
Charity, I especially agree with your last point on obedience – it’s not that we throw away doing anything, as though we’re rebelling against being superwoman, but instead listen to the Holy Spirit in how we should obey, and thus lean on His strength to do so and not our own. You have definitely lived out being a wise superwoman, as I know well in doing ministry with you when other people checked out. You know well the struggle of asking God, “There is this huge need, and how do I respond?” I think Paul in Scripture can relate as a “superman” in that he completely trusts in God’s sovereignty but does everything he can for the sake of the elect to gain salvation – 2 Timothy 2:10. And 1 Corinthians 15:10 he says he worked harder than anyone but not himself, it was the grace of God. I think this is a good tension to try and emulate, which is why I appreciate your obedience section so much 🙂
I completely agree with you Sarah! That is such a difficult tension to live in, knowing that spreading the gospel is our greatest calling and also being faced with our limitations and weaknesses. You bring up a really good point about not throwing away ministry opportunities (“rebelling against being superwoman”) or forgetting the lost and broken just because it is hard to deal with. That is the LAST thing we are called to do as believers. (And I definitely hope no one uses this blog post as an excuse to do so =) I feel like in every season of my life I have been called to do things that I simply could not do in my own human strength and found that this was actually a really GOOD thing, because it pressured me to realize my need for the Lord and His strength and guidance!
Again. Great thoughts
thanks Nadine!
This series has come at the right time for me! I have been reminded that I need to sit at the feet of Jesus daily and prayerfully ask for guidance on boundaries. I also need to be more intentional about my Sabbath time and your suggestions were very practical! Thank you for this series!
I am so glad Rebekah! That is really encouraging to hear. And way to go for realizing that you need to do this!!! Its going to bring so much good fruit in your life. Let me know how it goes.
So the first time I read this, I felt disconnected from it, but lately, God has been teaching me about what resting in Him really means. Your post was very informative and helpful in that area. Thank you.
I am so glad Cortney! Thanks for letting me know.